Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Ah yes, life changing journeys… it seems I find myself in one every 5-7 years or so; perhaps even more frequently than that but the big ones, the total overhauls, they stand out as once every 5-7 years. I wonder if this is normal…? Does everyone go through big life changes once or twice a decade? Or is this just part of my passage through this lifetime? I might have to do some research on that….
The journey I’ve been on this past year since my Dad died has been one of huge personal and spiritual growth – a journey I never intended to take but was forced upon me when my foundation literally fell away from me after my Dad died. I had every bit of my identity wrapped up in him and in his approval. He was my anchor and my foundation. Yes, I was the 10, 20, 30, 40-something year old who did everything (somewhat subconsciously) for her Dad’s approval. (As I write that I wonder if I should be embarrassed? Are there others who are in their 40s and make life decisions from the perspective of “what will Daddy think?” or am I the only one…?)
When he died and that foundation fell away I was forced to create my own identity and rebuild my foundation. I was forced to re-create Andria. What I discovered was she had been trying to be born for most of my adult life. I hid her and all she loved and hated in an attempt to fit in, to do what I believed I should, to ensure I was following not only the rules of society but the guidelines my Dad had set out for me via his example of the way he lived life. I discovered that in the process of hiding my true self, I lived my adult life based in fear – fear of failing, fear of being rejected, fear of being disapproved of, fear of being judged, fear of losing someone I loved, fear of losing control, and the list goes on. The false fears based on false beliefs I developed over the course of my lifetime were ruling my life.
When my Dad got sick and passed away so quickly that entire foundation from which I had been living fell away. It created a huge opening for me to actually examine HOW I was living and uncover how fear had been running my life. It was also an opening for me to stop the madness of living that way (and yes, upon further examination, it was madness. Although it felt and appeared quite normal as I was living it, looking back, it was anything but that).
So I spent a year healing many deep old wounds, grieving the loss of my Dad, shedding my identity that was wrapped up in him, and recreating Andria, or maybe reconnecting with who she always was. I wrote about most of this in my book, which will be published in 2016: Fear to Flow: How To Let Go Of The Struggle And Allow Your Life To Unfold Perfectly. I wrote more about it in my journals and during free-writing sessions. Some of this will be posted in future blogs: how I healed the wounded daughter who was me, how I let go of and changed 30-year old limiting beliefs and fears that were running my life, and how I found the courage to forgive and release burdens I’d been carrying around since I was 12 years old. Underneath all that excess baggage was my Divine Self, my Soul Light, the true Authentic Andria who had been there all along but had been hidden by the wounds of life and the protective armor of the ego.
My hope in sharing all this is that it will inspire you to tap into your authenticity, shine your soul light, and live life from your Divine Self perspective. I’ve discovered this is the most powerful and fulfilling way to live. It is the place from which we become aware of all the miracles that are around us every moment of every day. Yes, obviously this has been a spiritual journey for me as well. I’m not sure I’d call it a spiritual awakening as much as a spiritual awareness or enlightenment. I’ve become more aware of and enlightened to the spiritual nature of our existence and the fact that we truly are spiritual beings having a human experience.
So why am I sharing all of this with you? Obviously there has been a big shift in me and how I’m living my life. As such, you will notice that my writing has shifted. My blogs are shifting. The posts are taking on a different more heartfelt tone. They are also taking on a more spiritual tone. Some of this has already happened and you may have noticed it in some of my more recent blog posts. This change may cause some of you to stop reading and following the blog – I completely understand and hope that for those of you who stick around, the posts will be even more helpful and useful as you continue on your journey to create your most authentic life.
Authenticity is another theme and shift you’ll see in these posts and in my work. I’m committed to being unapologetically me – flaws and all. I’m inspired to share my journey, all my stories (good and bad) and my true self with you in hopes that you will be inspired to do the same. We are here to shine our unique lights in the world and live from that soulful place of knowing that when we are allowing our Divine light to shine, we are at our best and having our most positive impact on the world. When we hide our lights and conform to what we think we “should” do or what others tell us to do, we dim our potential and the positive impact we can have on others.
Clearly if I’m going to serve others in a way that helps them shine their soul light and live most authentically, I must do the same. Therefore keeping my spirituality hidden or separate from the work I do is no longer an option. It has become the way I live, the way I lead, and the way I run both my life and my business. To not have this reflected in the way I serve others would not only be a disservice to them but it would be dishonoring who I truly am. Hence, the services that C3 provides will also begin to take on this flavor. That doesn’t mean the work we do will change – we still coach, consult, mentor, and facilitate. We will still help others reach their highest potential and achieve their visions of success. Yet, it will be done with a more spiritual flavor as that is how I know I can best serve and share my gifts with the world. And yes, you are here to share your unique Divine gifts with the world too. I hope some of what I’ve shared and will continue to share will inspire you to do just that: be your beautiful self and shine your magnificent magical soul light!
I have taken a step to do this by sharing and opening up in this blog post. I will continue to do so and would love to hear any stories you have of what it means for you to truly show up as your most authentic Divine Self in the world.
I am so grateful to each of you reading this and for your continued support on my journey!