Thursday, May 14, 2015
You’re right on the edge of your big breakthrough. The new path. The brilliant idea. The thing you’ve been waiting for that will positively change your life. You can see it, feel it, taste it, and almost touch it. It’s right there. And what happens? Self-sabotage. You’re right on the edge and instead of plunging forward, you retreat. You let false fear take over and you retract. I’ve seen it countless times with my clients and also myself. We sabotage our growth and ourselves by allowing fear to take the lead.
This just happened to my client who was on the verge of having a big career breakthrough when suddenly her current job got excessively busy. Busy to the point where she needed to work 12-14 hour days and personal time disappeared. She was right on the edge of transitioning out of this job and into a new career path when she allowed the busyness of her current situation to take over and cause her to retreat. She retracted back to the familiar of the busy job she disliked and told me she thought she needed to put our coaching engagement on hold until this workload subsided. We coached through this issue because, let’s face it: busyness never ends. It’s a form of self-sabotage and keeps you from moving forward – just like it did with my client. Thankfully she agreed that this was the most critical time in the coaching process and stuck with it. Between the coaching session where she wanted to put coaching on hold and our following session two weeks later, she had her big breakthrough. Everything shifted for her right after she almost allowed herself to retreat back to the familiar; right after her self-created fearful stories about the unknown almost won. This is what typically happens right before a breakthrough; the resistance around you increases. Your ego takes hold and tries to keep you in the false safety net of the familiar. It’s completely normal, and can completely derail your progress and keep you stuck.
So, how do you combat it? Awareness. When you recognize that you’re on the edge of a breakthrough and that resistance is normal you’re able to call out what’s happening and thus diffuse it. It also helps you move through it so it doesn’t sabotage you. Sometimes all it takes is the awareness that: “Oh yes, this is normal. I’m retreating because the familiar feels safer than stepping into the unknown. But I don’t do that anymore. I’ve already done the familiar. I’m forging ahead into what’s next for me.” You might need to tell yourself that 50 or 100 times before it takes root and you actually do move forward. That’s okay. Keep telling yourself. Keep moving ahead. Don’t retreat. You’re on the edge of your breakthrough. Keep going.