Thursday, March 7, 2013
You’ve all heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing every day but expecting different results…? That’s what this week’s blog post is about. I’ve decided to share a brief part of one chapter in my upcoming book, Letting Go Of The Status Quo, to illustrate how doing things differently is really the only way to get different results. Although I’m sharing a personal example, I want you to think of something you want to be different in your life – it could be your career, the environment your work or live in or even something to do with your health. Think about what it is you want to be different and then think about whether you have been doing anything different to get new results. If you keep doing the same thing, chances are your results will be the same. It’s exactly what JD Houston said, “If you want something in your life you’ve never had, you’ll have to do something you’ve never done.” That is what the following is about.
To provide some context for what you’re about to read, I had just gone through my second divorce and relationships were the farthest thing from my mind. However, I also knew that if I wanted future relationships to be different than past relationships, I would need to do things differently than I had done in my past, starting with how to date again…
While walking through the Philadelphia airport to catch a flight to Pittsburgh, I ran into Jackie, one of my dearest colleagues and friends, who was headed to Pittsburgh for the same meeting. We didn’t know we’d be on the same flight and ended up sitting next to each other. She, too, was in the process of a divorce, so we began talking. She asked me if I was dating. I told her I had dated a little, but wasn’t really interested in being in a relationship. I was having a wonderful time being single and recreating what it meant to be Andria, not Andria as part of a couple.
She told me she thought I should start dating because I am such a wonderful person, have so much to give, etc. I laughed and asked her if she was dating. She said she was on Match.com. I laughed again, not at her but because that was the furthest thing from my mind. She told me that I should try Match and I said, “No way. I do not want to get married again.” She told me that I could create my profile any way I wanted and if I was just interested in casual relationships, I could say that. I tried to ignore her but she didn’t let up.
On our return flight, we sat next to each other again and she continued to press me about Match.com. Just to shut her up, I told her I’d think about it and she said, “No you won’t. You won’t do it.”
Was that a challenge? I pondered the conversation for about 30 minutes while Jackie read her book. Do I want to do this? Maybe it would be fun to meet some new people and go out on a few non-committal dates.
Internet dating was nothing I’d ever considered. But it was drastically different from anything I’d ever done or thought about before.
After some silence, I interrupted Jackie’s reading and said, “What do you mean I won’t do it?” She said, “I just don’t think you will.”
And, with that, I accepted the “challenge” and told her, “I’m doing it.”